The Practice of Therapy

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Hi, this bread Hill, I'm so glad to be on the practice of therapy podcast with Gordon brewery. We're going to talk in this episode about mindfulness as a practice in coaching and in therapy as well, because he has great uses in therapy. And then the business of therapy, which is, you know, kind of a great topic and a challenging one for a lot of people.

Perfect. Well, hello, everyone, and welcome again to the podcast. And I'm so glad for you to get to meet today. On this episode, Brett hell, Brett, welcome. Glad you're with me. Thank you. Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. Yes. Great, great. And I'm like, we got a lot of great stuff to talk about just on coaching and mindfulness and all of that sort of thing. But as a start with everyone, Brett, why don't you tell folks a little bit about your practice journey and your coaching business and how you've landed where you landed? No, thank you. Yeah, it's been quite a long journey, I, I actually had a professional career in technology. And I worked for Microsoft, and some others, I had a role. And you're not going to believe this, that they have a job called technical evangelist. And that's a, you know, a guy who stands up and says, Hey, this is the best technology you've ever seen. And you're gonna love it, and you try to sell the technology, but it's a little bit more than just marketing. It's actually, you know, you know, here's a new feature and how this is gonna make your life easier. Let me show you how it works. And so there was so technical evangelist are expected to be technical, pretty deeply technical. And they've kind of morphed that entire role now into a whole nother thing about customer satisfaction and communications. And even now they have technical storyteller roles they call them now. And so I did a lot of public speaking and a whole lot of explaining about how things work. Now, in parallel to that my whole life, I've always been fascinated with and involved with the study and practice of psychotherapy, of mindfulness, meditations, mindfulness, and also meditations, communications, I have a degree in interpersonal communication. And I've always been extremely fascinated with how to how people work, like, how does this neurology that we have actually interact with the world? And how does he get aligned in such a way that causes us success? And how do we also get in our own ways in, in suffering that we don't necessarily need to have? And specifically, the interactive parts? Like, how do what does it look like when two people or more, one or more people are actually communicating really well? So I have sort of a specialty and mindful communications as well. Awesome. And you've got you've got a podcast as well, around this? Yeah, I do. Yeah. I call it the language of mindfulness. And it's really just me talking about the things that I've learned, because I think one of the reasons why I'm so passionate about this work is I, I've had some fabulous training and teachers. I studied somatic psychotherapy, back when it was just getting started back in, like the mid 80s. And, you know, mindfulness was like, nobody even heard of it. And yet, there was with some amazing instructors. Learning how to be present with clients and people in a way that was really beyond what most people ever spent time trying to learn how to do. And lo and behold, it's a skill that anyone can develop. And it's made my life so much better, that I just want to spread spread the love there a little bit, right. It's a super powerful way. Yeah, walk through the world. Yeah. So I know, we were chatting before we started recording just what has been like for you to really kind of start an online kind of coaching business and, and really focused on this niche of mindfulness and some of the things you've learned along the way. And I think one of the things he said that really kind of struck a chord with me is just the the power of incremental growth, you want to say some more about that be out.

The marketing yourself as a resource is a very different business than selling software or a mobile app or some other bits, right, some of their physical bits. And it took me quite a while to shift modes because I also had experience as an entrepreneur and have, you know, put some things out in the market, excuse me, but it's more like when you're when you're selling yourself as a service, you know, Then it takes a completely different orientation. And so I've had to learn to kind of add small bits over time small pieces over time, like getting social media moving, getting content SEO working on my website, getting podcasts out there that doesn't have a big listenership, but has the right listenership. And then I like, all of my connections on LinkedIn, were used to be technical and reframing all of those into, you know, more mindful and coaching services and things like that. And then networking with various coaches and services over a period of a year or two or three, to make sure that I'm connected to the right. Social, the social fabric of coaching and, and, and also the business of coaching as well. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, so that, you know that not to get too far down the rabbit hole here. But one of the things about that, is that you've, you've really shifted careers quite a bit. Along the way, and just really, learning how to do do business in a different way and learn a different career was just tides ties into mindfulness just perfectly to me. Yeah, it's, well, I can tell you this, and this is what I tell all my clients or anyone that will listen to me that mindfulness is the number one thing you can do to improve your personal and professional life. Now, you know, that's obviously overstated, because maybe you need you know, to get fit, or get out of the hospital or whatever it is. But aside from triage, if you want to live yours, if you want to lift the quality of your life in every aspect of your life, learning to be mindful, which is a skill that you can practice and actually changes the neurology changes your brain matter, to so that your prefrontal cortex actually gains more material. And that material in your brain is going to make your world a lot easier than it is today, it's gonna be a lot calmer, you're going to be a lot more resilient, you're going to have a lot more choices than you did before. Because instead of being reactive, you're going to have the capacity to take a breath and go, Oh, well, what are my choices here? Do I really just want to blurt out? Well, that ain't true. What do you know? Or would it be better if I said something else? Right, right. Yeah, I know, I know, with, with a lot of my clients that I work, you know, do. I'm big into mindfulness as well with just some of my clients. And one of the things is really treating, teaching people how to slow things down enough to be mindful, and not just responding to triggers they might have along the way. Exactly. That and developing that capacity is, like I mentioned is a skill. And so you can you can learn it over time. And most people think that when people say, Well, I just don't have time, then I would say, well, that means you need it twice as much. Because it's, it's sort of like, would you rather spend 20 minutes getting something done frantically and get it done to 70% of your capacity? Would you rather spend 20 minutes getting something done, and be calmer and have a better experience of it and do it better, right. And then you might even do it in 15 minutes as a result. So you might have actually saving time, but the most important thing is that you have a better quality of life. And what's the point of Hurry up? Hurry up, hurry up. If at the end of your life, you look back and go, all I did was Hurry up, and then my life is over? Like I never did. I never did get the benefit of all that Hurry up, you know, right, right. Yeah. I love that. So, yeah. So what are some ways that you found effective in just teaching people mindfulness?

Well, the number one thing I'll do with clients is I'll just take moment and unsession and teach them help or help them get mindful. I use mindful in my practice mindfulness in my practice, so a lot of times people will never have, they don't even know what it is. They just know. They wanted to talk to me because they heard me do a talk somewhere. And they'll say, well, let's just talk to Brett and I'll say, look, so you're, you're telling me like you don't know. I'll use an example. We'll call her Jane. And we'll say Jane has this feeling that she doesn't like speaking up in meetings because she feels like everybody else knows more than her. And so what I'll just ask her to do is I'll just say, okay, just take a few breaths, and just relax. Just get really chill and just notice very, very carefully and slowly. What goes on when you hear and I'll say something like Um, you know what you're talking about? I'll just say those words, you know what you're talking about? And have her just hear the words and mindfully reflect on what it feels like to hear that she might have a voice come up that says, No, I don't they know more than me. That's fine. I'm not looking for anything other than how is this person organized around that phrase? How what comes up automatically all by itself. And so I help them learn to explore their own feelings around these topics. So the next time she's in a meetings, and someone says something she can, she can hear this voice. And then I tried to help her realize that this is just a voice in your head. It's not the truth. It's just a voice. It's just what happens for you. What's true, and then we I'd say know what's factually true. Do you really know what you're talking about? Well, yeah, I really do. And I actually have great ideas. Okay, so that's the truth, right? So just notice that this voice is just a voice, and it's not really you. And so we begin to create the separation between our thoughts and our identity. And that is pure magic. Yes, yes. Yeah, it's so much fun to see those concepts, click with people. Once they kind of grasp that, yeah. And it's important, I think, the way I described it, is to give them the experience of it, rather than just try to you can't read a book about it and really get it you have to do it. That's why my work I call it somatic it's in it's a, it's about the direct experience of what the things I'm talking about, rather than here's a, you know, here's the theory is not theory, it's actually having an experience of it. Right. Right. Yeah, it's, uh, yeah, you know, again, just reminded of some of the work that I've done with with, and over this past year with COVID, not to get again, all for too far. Over off on a tangent with this, I think people have just become much more aware of, of what it means to be mindful and really kind of learn to calm themselves. But I was reminded, as you were saying that another way I've heard kind of this framed is we all have this internal critic that takes over in our, in our minds and in our brains. And we, we have a choice about what voice we listen to around that. And one of the questions that I ask people a lot is not why does the inner critic takeover but how does the inner Yeah, take? That's it? Exactly. Yeah, exactly. And the mindfulness aspect is the study of that a hell, right? It's like, now I'm watching the voice. Because you said something that was interesting. He said, we have a choice about which voice we listen to. And the practice of mindfulness is empowering that choice. Mm hmm. Because if you're on automatic, it's just sort of like push the button and react, push the button and react. There's really kind of like no one home to make a choice. Right. So right, having mindfulness you take to push the button. Wait, I want to react. I'm noticing everything in me is organized around, I need to just spit out my reaction. Uh, huh. Or, no, no, I have a choice. And so this is leads me to one of my favorite sayings about mindfulness is it's really about freedom. It's really about having choices.

Yes. Yes. I love that. So to switch gears again, Brad, you want do you mind sharing with folks kind of how you've built your business around this particular niche and in teaching, teaching mindfulness to people, and I'm sure it's much more goes? You know, I think as therapists majority of the people listening to podcasts are therapists so we're not like we're really unfamiliar with this with this concept. But you this is a this is a unique niche, and really being able to, to build that niche. What have you. Have you kind of gone about that building that niche? Will I've just, you know, every time I'm, well, here, I am talking with you on a podcast about it. And that's one of my techniques. As I is I show up as a guest on people's podcasts as an expert on the topic. And so part of it is just making sure that if people discover me, they discover me in the context of mindfulness, and hopefully mindful communications and somatic mindfulness that I'm reading, actually reframing things now. To kind of land more on what I would call somatic mindfulness, because that's even a niche below the niche. Right, right. And, and so it's important to frame yourself as an expert in some topic, and to have a lot of material that's referenceable. Out there, not necessarily a ton, but good material is out there that you can use over and over. So one of the things that happens is, I noticed what questions people ask all the time. And then I make sure I've got an article on that, and or podcast on that or both. And then whenever I see that question out there on the world, like on social media, I'll drop a link to my pre pre framed content on that. And then of course, there's the whole, you know, social media presence and making sure you have all of that. So it's about having an identity, and making sure that everything is framed so that in my, in my context, it's like Brett is an expert on mindfulness. And he's going to do mindful coaching. And so, so if someone's ever looking for that, they can find me. So if you Google, you know, Brett Hill, mindfulness, you'll wind up directly on my page immediately. Yeah, yeah. And it's a it's taken you. How long would you say is taking you to really kind of get to the place you want to be? Ernie might not be quite there? Well, I'm not quite there yet. But yeah, because I'm not a super ambitious guy. But I'm, I'm still, it's always a work in progress, right. But it is definitely working. It's just taking time. And that's one of the things I would say to people is a lot of times it takes more work and more time than you might like. And one of the things I would say is be patient and be kind to yourself is hard. This is hard to hard stuff. They don't teach you this, when you get your, you know, your certifications, your your for counseling, or psych psychotherapy, or, you know, social work, they don't teach you the business side. And fortunately, I had come from a business background. And so none of this was a surprise to me. But and I'm technical. So I know what SEO is, I can build my own website, I can produce my own podcast. So that was a, those are all assets in my pocket. But a lot of people, they don't have that. So get help is the other thing, go out and get help that you need. Right. And the other thing I would say is don't let people tell you what your business is. It's sort of like, everybody has a gift. Everybody has a unique flavor of your work, and find that and amplify it. And let that let that be your shining star because people people want what you have when you're landing in something that's authentic and real. Yes, yes. And they The other thing I would add to what you said, and I'm sure you know this about yourself, you're also passionate about this niche, which is is is another big key. I think in developing a niche and developing a place that you want to focus. Yep. Yeah. And to echo again, what you said, that's been my experience as well in just with this podcast, is I've been persistent and consistent with it. Yeah, what Episode Are you on now? Yeah, this. We're we're over 200 episodes now. So yeah, that's a lot of passion right there to produce 200 episodes? Yeah. Yeah.

So I've been at it since 2017. So Wow. Yeah. Well, yeah. You got in early. Yeah. Yeah. CAD. Yeah, I think I like to think so. I mean, it's been, it's been a great journey. I mean, I do think that I got in to podcasting. Really, when it was really starting to take Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Well, good. Well, Brad, I want to be respectful of your time, you want to tell folks a little bit about the resources that you have. And I know you mentioned that there's some things that that might be helpful to them just as therapists. Sure. I have a website language of mindfulness calm. And so it's a mouthful language of mindfulness calm, but you can just type it into Google and come up. And there I have some podcasts as well as my blog. But more importantly, I have a page there. Language of mindfulness.com forward slash now. And that is a because one of the things I get is questions about how do I start a mindfulness practice? And there is a blueprint there on exactly how to do that because it doesn't take that much. But you want to answer the questions for either your clients or for yourself about how do I get started with this? And well, gee, what if you know is meditation? Can it be harmful? How much time do I need? Isn't it about just quieting my thoughts? Is it a Buddhist thing? All those FAQs are there and there's a audio of how to get started as well takes about 10 minutes to sit through the audio and a video explaining it. It's free. I give it away the language of mindfulness calm slash now. Awesome. Also know We'll be sure to have links in the show notes and show summary for people to to find that easily so great. Well, Brad, thanks again for being on the podcast and and hopefully I'm sure this is helpful information for people just to kind of learn from your experiences and just being on this journey. Well, thank you. It's a pleasure to be here.