The Practice of Therapy

Gordon Brewer:
Well. Hello everyone and welcome again to the practice of therapy podcast and I'm so happy to have with me today, Chris Swenson and Chris, I got to know when I was out in Colorado this past year killin'it camp and Chris, welcome.
Chris Swenson:
Oh, it's a pleasure. It's definitely honored to be on your show, Gordon. I really appreciate that those listeners out there that have heard me speak before, it's an absolute pleasure to do so again and for those who haven't, thanks for the privilege to do so.
Gordon Brewer:
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm so thrilled to have you. So as I start out with most folks, Chris why don't we begin by you just telling folks a little bit about your private practice journey and how you've landed where you've landed.
Chris Swenson:
Yeah, I think my, my private practice journey goes back a little bit and I've had my own solo practice now for just about a decade. And previous to that I did the agency route, which many of us have. And you know, I got to a point where man, I was pretty not doing good health wise. I'm pretty stressed out pretty straight. Actually people thought I had a heart attack, which I think it was more of a lot of stress and strain. So it was, I was, I don't like, you know, blood thinner pills, this sort of pill, that pill, all these things is trying to keep myself afloat. And eventually I decided, well, I've always wanted to do is go into my own private practice. And so I had about enough money for probably a month and I just dive right in. And I was fortunate enough that things worked.
Chris Swenson:
However, I did know at first it wasn't like wow, things just fell right into place. I mean, it was definitely struggles and challenges, but part of like what we're talking about today, I mean, once I got my mindset mentality squared away and really focused, I think things really took off. And actually after he got into private practice, interesting. Got myself off all of the meds, meds that I was on, and I went back to the doctor and then she said, Oh, Hey, finally, everything looks pretty good. I'm not doing anything. It's just the change from that stress and strain of being overburdened and into something differently. Definitely new. So,
Gordon Brewer:
Oh, that's great. That's great. It's a glad, glad things turned around for you when just moving into that. So, yeah. So what would you say you've what are kind of the big lessons you've learned as you've gone through this journey?
Chris Swenson:
I think the biggest thing for me that I've really learned is never forgetting about the inner game. It's always going on. It's always there. And I would begin, like a lot of people don't. When I first created my practice was, okay, what am I supposed to do here? So you hear about, okay, this is what you're supposed to do, this is how you should Mark it. You should have this, you should have that. And you start just start building it. And pretty soon I pretty much had a practice where I felt like I was like a slave to the practice. It wasn't mine. And so it was almost this illusion that I bought into and realize I designed as, Hey, I got a full practice, yay. But it wasn't quite having a sense of fulfillment. But once I stepped back and really identify my purpose, you know, found that passion really live by my principles and really found that one big thing I could do each and every day to move the dial, things began to fall more into place and I began to feel a lot more fulfilled. Even though there's still struggles as challenges, we all have to like fly through that turbulence to build a practice to scale it or whatever. However it's being able to each and every day feel those joyful feelings.
Gordon Brewer:
Right. Yeah. So what were some of the yeah, with it sounds like really you had just kind of a a little bit of an internal struggle as far as they had kind of, why am I doing this? What if you know, what's my purpose and all of this? What were some of the things that really began that you were able to do that really began to change your mindset or help you with that?
Chris Swenson:
Well, for me it took probably a different journey than some probably do. I went and really got ingrained with a lot of the warrior community and learned a lot about mental toughness and mindset from a many of those individuals. And it was a lot of really, like I said, once I got the purpose, passion, but identify like the principles which I operate by each and every day and going out and earning those every day becomes something there. Plus the daily practices of what I do to make sure that I'm making the decision, the right decision instead of something out of fear. No, there's many times we get a fear of scarcity. Like, wow, I need to get some money now so I better take this client on or that one on. And pretty soon you don't have the practice that you really wanted from there.
Chris Swenson:
But so there was an internal struggle is like come from a background and getting racially were very defeatist mindset. Things just don't work out very good. Things aren't going to be there. Some low confidence. And once I began working on a lot of just daily work and really ingraining this new mentality in for me, now I feel absolutely great. There's a lot more confidence, you know, a lot more calmer. There's a lot more mental clarity for what I need for decisions to be made. And being able to do the right thing instead of just like what I call the inner game part. I always call like darkness. Darkness is something that's around us all the time and it affects us. It might bring on fear, might bring on self doubt, whatever it might be. I want to make sure that the decisions I make for my life and my practice are aligned with what's important for me and those I serve and not just a fear or doubt or anxiety as well.
Gordon Brewer:
Right, right. Yeah. So as you went through this process, what were some of the, I guess maybe some of the exercises you did or the, that you found helpful in really kind of boosting that new mindset? You mentioned your community, your pro, your, your private practice warrior community, which will have links to that in the show notes and such. But tell the folks a little more about that.
Chris Swenson:
Well, what I had done is I took a look at what's been going on within the private practice community was there's so much, you know, we don't know how to operate a business. You know, I was fortunate that I came from the business world before I got into this. So I was fairly lucky in that sense. But that was also in the mid nineties technology so different. But I've seen it so much where people are, Hey, just build your practice, scale your practice, expand your stuff, do all of these, and then you're going to reach like that promise land and feel that sense of fulfillment. And what I found is that it's like an almost like an illusion. Like they were given a check and bounce where all of a sudden they're, they've got, they're more stressed, they're mentally fatigued or tired. I've heard from some where it's like, I hope I just stay married, you know?
Chris Swenson:
And so there was such an impact that it wasn't quite getting where they're at and the answer all the time to just do more. And so what I looked at was trying to find out what is it, you know, what really makes a successful practice for the long haul? And looking at numbers of failure rates over the years find. And I noticed that the failure rate has remained the same even though we've got better technology and we've got a lot more programs, but it's still the same. And so I, I've looked at that as I wonder what the missing variable is. And so what I found was the missing variable was just that, you know, it's our inner game. It's, you know, we have to get ourselves to do XYZ every day and how do we get ourselves to do that was the missing link.
Chris Swenson:
And so when I wrote the book private practice warrior, that's what I put on there, like a little line. Ford is the most impactful factor to creating a successful practice is that when you begin with you, you know, you get yourself, your mindset, mentality, purpose, passion, all these things in line. And from there, not only to, you can accomplish great things, no doubt, but the point of it is not just to create this great business, this great practice, it's being a better person through doing all of these. So when I found some of that out, it's like I need to do that. I'm just tired of seeing a lot of people struggle and having a hard time not getting that joy and fulfillment from what they're doing for me. There's a way and being able to like, you know, through the book, we could talk a little bit about that, but I mean what what I look at is when you bring on not just a, a powerful mindset with some mental skills and mental tips. I mean those are helpful to fly through all the tribulation. When we've got a turbulence, we have a fly through just to build our practices. But there was a time about how do you build a better view, you know, you become a better person through all of these through building it. I think that's the essence of being a private practice warrior. It's not just building the practice. It's becoming a better person through the challenges of building a better practice requires definitely some mental skills, but also just a different mentality how you look at practice.
Gordon Brewer:
Yeah. I know you mentioned earlier just going from a scarcity mentality to more of a, an abundance mentality. Yeah. So what well, I helped you with that. I mean, making that shift because I think a lot of us operate on that kind of scarcity mentality. Yeah. I think there
Chris Swenson:
Got into me where I could understand like, okay, this is the scarcity mentality that I'm probably most operating from and I'm aware that that's not okay. And I know that there's this other one out there and that's what I wanted to. And so there was a lot of, almost, if I could use like analogy of like a computer, you know, you have this scarcity mindset program and different things trigger the program and it runs and once it started getting to run, that just kind of takes over. And so bringing in a different one, like a practice where your mindset it's just a matter of noticing, getting that awareness of that first initial poll when the program's running and then having kind of a little statement or something that can like interdict it, catch it, and then getting yourself onto a different, more empowering type mindset.
Chris Swenson:
And that can be done just in a day to day, but it's also in different circumstances. So that's what I've found is like there's a lot in me that I needed to be aware of that would come up at different times. And without the awareness, that's where I think darkness would mess with me. And pretty soon I'm not being productive. I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do. And when it all comes down to it, I'm not going to try to play him all the circumstances. But essentially it's me not getting me to be disciplined enough to get things done consistently. And so there's a lot of, I think basically it's just getting that awareness to start with, of having almost like a, a scarcity loop that gets filled. And you know, it's almost like which kind of mentality you want to feed. You want to feed the scarcity one or if you feed a more empowering, powerful mindset.
Chris Swenson:
So having that awareness and then being able to catch it with some powerful statements, driving it into something different with some more visualization and getting yourself on it takes practice, takes time. But it's something that, an attitude that I probably had to take in each and every day. I know I'd use it kind of a funny way. I mean, where I go watch my son play sports or whatever and his team would be getting behind or whatever. Even my teams, I like to watch, we're getting behind. And even then I'd be like, okay, now we've got this, and trying to stay in that fight, trying to stay in with that. And a lot of that became a way of ingraining, I think some of that in me. So it's not just doing the skin when it's up, but it's making it a part of who you are. And that becomes where it's something that is programmed, that mindset.
Gordon Brewer:
Right, right. Yeah. So you started the the private practice warrior community and the book. How did all that come together? Was that something you formed or was it something that others had had helped you with?
Chris Swenson:
No, that's something that I pretty much did on my own, realizing a metal level now where I can't do everything by myself, but it was, I mean, initially had this idea and then I started seeing the struggles as we talked about. And I needed to do something. I wanted to make a difference and what made a difference for me, I wanted to be able to share that with others. And so I thought about writing the book. And so my parents live up in Minnesota where it's cold and the winter very cold and every year they'll go down South summer, usually in Nevada. So they were out in Nevada at the time. And I told them, I just need a place to go middle of nowhere and just write this thing. So I went up to their Lake home in the middle of the winter where it was blows zero every single day.
Chris Swenson:
I was there and the snow is piled up. And so I've had, I went through the process of really writing of the book and the book itself isn't necessarily like a traditional business business book where, Hey, here's these lessons. This is what this company did, this is what this successful person did. That kind of format. I wrote it like a story. And so they have like a main character to the story and you get to follow the main character through this journey that the character goes on. And there's a lot of twists and some turns in the book as well. And through, excuse me, through living through that main character and seeing the, the changes that were there, you begin to learn about kind of the identity of being a private practice warrior and really identifying your purpose, your passion, never forgetting about the inner game, things like that. So you can kind of like take out a lot of those ideas as you learn from the story.
Gordon Brewer:
Yeah. Well, you know, one of the things that strikes me about it that I think is which I totally agree with you, Chris, is that there's this idea or this thing that's I guess put it in our minds and just probably more of an American kind of cultures that bigger is better, you know? And it's kind of like when you start a business, you need to make it grow and get it really huge or all that sort of thing, but you've got a failed, something different. And I'm reminded of a former guests that I had on the podcast, Paul Jarvis, who he wrote, wrote the book, I think company of one our a company. Yeah, I think that's the title of the book. How hopefully I'm getting that right. But that bigger isn't necessarily better. So how did you kind of come to that conclusion for yourself?
Chris Swenson:
Well, I think for me what I was always after is making sure that setting it up, what's most important to me, what is the lifestyle that I want to have? What's going to bring me the credits, fulfillment. And from there, then you can kind of go out and bigger is better for you and fits, then you do it. If smaller is what you're after, then it is. So I think sometimes, and I guess for me it's whatever we put out into the external world, whether it's bigger or whatever, it's less whatever you're doing, what has to be there without missing is just that inner part of it is, is this bringing you the fulfillment that you really wanted? You know, and I know part of the practice warrior stuff is really, really wanting to be a better person. That personal growth that developed, not only just becoming that way for a better practice owner, but as a better parent, the challenges it'll take to grow or to put stuff out into the external world, provide some of those stresses that become like weights that we can lift against and overcome that. As we begin to expand who we are now, we become that better person. So to me, I look at bigger as better could be if it fits for you. I think that that's the biggest part of that.
Gordon Brewer:
Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't agree with you more. It's really a matter of really knowing yourself well and just really again, one of my mantras and you're kind of echoing this as you've got to always know your why as to why you want to do, do what you want to do. And I think tied into that is really thinking a GaN as you said, as tied into that as our lifestyle. I think it's kind of kind of ridiculous just to go out and make a bunch of money just for the sake of making a bunch of money. But if you can really count it, define the money that comes in is really based on the lifestyle you want to leave. That's a, that's a healthier place to be inside, right?
Chris Swenson:
Yeah. Yeah, no doubt. I know we've got a lot of struggles sometimes around money and our practice community, like the bird private practice in general within the community have some difficulties with money. And a lot of how I look at some of that is, I mean, if you do, like if money would be symbolic in a sense of what you've done for somebody. So when you go to McDonald's and you give them a 20, you're hiding and say, Hey look, this is what I did for someone to earn this and I'm giving it to them so they can earn theirs. And so sometimes you know, the more people you help, maybe the more money you make. And it's not necessarily just because of having this, this lucrative funding of money, but it's a matter of that, of feeling that, wow, I did something value. This is a way in which I may be rewarded for that as well. Yeah.
Gordon Brewer:
Right. Yeah, it's really it's really about being genuine with all of it.
Chris Swenson:
Yeah, absolutely. I think that's a critical thing that I think a lot of people need to know is to be who you are. You know, there's a lot of ideas out there on how to be build or grow the practice or what needs to do and the voice you should have. But I think when it comes down to it, it's just be who you are and I can go back to graduate school. I remember on that. That's been in me ever since then where they always come up. You've got to have this theory of change. You need to have some theory to operate by. And I kept telling them like, I just want to be me. Like I'll learn about all these different things and I'm just going to be me. And like, Oh, she want to be eclectic. I'm like, no, that's not it. It's just to learn it all and then make it something of who you are. You know, I know one of the guides in the book and is one of the greatest samurai warriors of all time. That really helps with the main character. And what I learned from a lot of samurai was they would do all the samurai training for a number of years and then stop for also a number of years to do nothing but something else. So that, that way when they came back, it was more just natural. Just who they are.
Gordon Brewer:
Yeah. Well, I love, I love this concept and I think it, yeah, thank you. You're right on the Mark, Chris, when just thinking about this in terms of our mindset and being able to, to really you know, again, the live the lifestyle that we want to live with private practice, whatever, whatever size practice that you have. And so I think that's, that's being able to take some give yourself some distance from it, a little bit like a, like you did of just kind of going out in the cabin and writing the book and really kind of gathering all those thoughts. I think those are all just a valuable in being able to really figure out what is your ideal practice and how does it fit your lifestyle.
Chris Swenson:
Yep, absolutely. And to me it's, I mean, there's so much potential I think that a lot of us have as therapists to really make a difference. And I think there's times where I've seen a lot of great therapists who really could get a better reach if they were in private practice, for example, or if they're in private practice to be able to get out of the therapy room and expand that. And it's amazing how I could see where they could be and the difference that they can make. But then you get all that turbulence from darkness in the head that's holding them back or the fears. And for me, I want to see that. I want to be a witness to some of those rides, to help people to, to be able to get those dreams, to realize those dreams and be a part of that, that story. I think that there's so much more that we can definitely do.
Gordon Brewer:
Yeah. Yeah. Couldn't agree more. Well, Chris, I want to be mindful of your time and I'm so glad that you were able to join me on the podcast. Tell folks how they can get in touch with you and if they want to find out more about the work you're doing and the private practice warriors.
Chris Swenson:
Well, it's fairly simple. If you just head over to a website I have or I've kind of compiled everything there and it's just simply I am a little, the words of actually the letters, I am Chris swenson.com. So just that I am Chris watson.com and everything's there. You can definitely go over there. You can get a free copy of the book along with a little special bonus as well in time developing a private practice warrior program that I'm hoping to really be able to meet with some people and really, really try to get in there and help them realize a lot of their dreams, feel that fulfillment, not only just, not only just the business but also their lives too. So I am
Gordon Brewer:
I hope that we'll be able to get together again here soon and look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
Chris Swenson:
Absolutely. Yeah. It was an honor to meet you at killing a camp and I'll probably see you again there next year.
Gordon Brewer:
Yes, I'll be there. I'll be there for sure.
Chris Swenson:
All right, well, thank you so much and I'm really hoping that a lot of the audience people, thanks for the privilege of being able to speak in front of a lot of you and hope that you find some value from.