The Practice of Therapy

Kasey Compton: Hey, everybody. It is Kasey Compton. Super excited to be back on, the practice of therapy podcast. And today I want to talk a little bit about my new book that's coming out called In Search of You.
Gordon: Well, hello everyone and welcome again to the podcast and as always I'm so excited to have Casey Compton back with me on the podcast.
Casey is yeah, just a dear friend to me and so I'm, Casey, I'm glad you're here and We're going to be talking about her new book. So welcome, Casey.
Kasey Compton: Thank you. It's always a pleasure. This is one of my favorite podcasts.
Gordon: Well, thank you. And Casey's got a wonderful, wonderful podcast too. You know, I'll get her to tell a little bit more about that here in a minute, but Casey is a start most everyone and tell folks that might not know who you are a little bit more about yourself and how you've landed where you've landed.
Yeah,
Kasey Compton: I think, I feel like that's a loaded question, you know, anymore, I need to rehearse it a little bit better, but yeah, I am a self taught entrepreneur starting, started out as a teacher and realize that the work that I could do and the way that I could influence the lives of kids was limited. And it really didn't feel in alignment with, What I wanted to do.
And so I went in and got my master's in mental health counseling, started a group practice from there scaled the group practice, been scaling the group practice since 2015, started doing consulting for other practice owners about 2017. Been doing that, running a membership community and started a podcast called the Back Porch Bestie.
And. I started writing I wrote Fix This Next in 2019, published it in 20, and then started writing this book shortly thereafter. And then the most recent thing was starting a pottery studio. And so that's been really interesting. And I've learned Yeah, I've learned a lot and felt very validated in my group practice world by some of the lessons that I've actually learned over at the pottery studio.
So yeah, I mean, I have, I have a bunch of kids and a dog and I enjoy, you know, Plants,
Yeah, that's that's good. That's good enough.
Gordon: Yeah. Yeah. Well, Casey, is it? Yeah, it's to me, you're a fascinating person. And I'm just so glad you're back with me. So, as as we plan to do, tell folks about your new book and kind of the story behind it.
And. Your whole journey with that,
Kasey Compton: right? So the new book is it's called in search of you. How to find joy when doing more isn't doing it anymore. And so the majority of our time knowing one another, I was a huge. I'll even can call myself an over functioner, you know, like, well, I've always been that way.
I was like that as a kid, you know, I was very motivated by I want the highest test score, you know, like I want the best grade in the class kind of deal. And so that was just always me in general. But as I became an adult and actually found kind of found my way as. An entrepreneur and starting out with the group practice.
I realized that that that drive to succeed and that drive to be financially independent and, you know, do things and provide things for my children that I didn't necessarily have growing up kind of put me in this place of over functioning to a level or to a degree that was not necessarily healthy and granted, like if you would have asked me.
While I was in the midst of this time period like are you an over functioner? I would have probably said no or if you would have said is Your work impacting your family. I would have said no Totally totally oblivious to it really but I think the thing that it was it was impacting my family but only as like a secondary impact.
It was primarily impacting myself. And I noticed that as I started having the ability to do the things that I'd always wanted to do, like financially one of the things was buying a house on Fripp Island. I'd always wanted to do that since the first time I ever visited there. And when I bought the house, And I went down for the first time and sat there on the beach at my own house.
I honestly didn't feel any different than I did when I would just be on vacation. And that was kind of a big red flag to me of like, okay, I'm doing all these things, but I'm not feeling fulfilled or I don't feel joy. And so it caused me to have to. Make a lot of changes and slow down and do things differently and start connecting to that inner child and understanding about my family and understanding more about my past and you know coming to terms with a lot of that.
So that's really how the book became the book is my own through that process.
Gordon: Yeah, yeah, I think that's it. I've been so inspired by you know, listening to your podcast and Back Porch Bestie and with, with Kelsey. And so it's just because I know that the two of you have kind of worked through and talked a lot about the stuff that I, this I'm assuming is going to be in the book.
Kasey Compton: Right.
Gordon: Just self discovery and, and and it takes a lot of vulnerability. So, I mean, that's just been something that's I've been admired, I've admired. And, you know, in a way I've, I've shared this earlier in the podcast and I'm going to share this with you now, but one of the things that I did after my wife died is I started kind of chronicling my own grief journey as, you know, going from being a caregiver to, you know, her death and then just figuring out, you know, the way through grief afterwards.
And so I, I know firsthand being that vulnerable is is scary, but at the same time it is very liberating.
Kasey Compton: Yeah, that's, that's the exact word I was going to use. It is liberating and, you know, I forget what my writing coach, I hope she doesn't listen to this. She called, Oh, it's I think she calls it a healing draft.
And so, you know, whenever you're writing things like that, or, or detailing your, your journey of grief. And like, for me, it was journaling my experiences. I was one of those people that I really don't even think this should be. Legal. I don't think therapists should be able to be therapists if they've never gone to therapy.
That was me. I had never gone to therapy. And so, you know, journaling twice a week. Well, I journaled every day, but after every therapy session, like, I was intensively processing, reprocessing, seeking to understand those sessions. And it's, It's all here, like it's, it's all in this book and most of the journals that I wrote during this whole two and a half year process, they're in here and it's so raw and it's so real that it actually made the editing process.
That much harder because I was reliving it and reliving it. And anyone that's written books know that you edit and edit and edit and edit and edit. So it was like, I think that process alone of going back and revisiting and editing helped me heal and become more certain in the things that I was doing and.
You know, the whole reason, the purpose behind it, because it was just right here in my face all the time. So I think what you're doing is awesome. And I think that there's, there's a lot of good that will come from it.
Gordon: Yeah. Well, thanks. Thanks. Well What there was a question that I think just kind of came up for me as you were talking about this.
What would you say about the process of really getting that vulnerable really surprised you about yourself?
Kasey Compton: All of it. I was on a podcast earlier talking to people in the manufacturing industry,
Gordon: which
Kasey Compton: is interesting.
Gordon: Yeah.
Kasey Compton: And I think, well, everyone's different, obviously. And I, I was a very solution focused type therapist.
I primarily use CBT when I practice back in the day, I focused on panic disorder. And that's where we looked for root, you know, root fears. So EMDR wasn't a thing back then and some of the other practices that I truly now was just not a thing but When I went to therapy that my first therapy session, you know, she asked me on a scale from 1 to 10 How much do you love yourself?
And that I would have rather her asked me pretty much anything other than that Because I did not know I really did not know.
Gordon: Yeah.
Kasey Compton: And talk about like a moment where you think oh, like I'm in for it. Like I am in for it. That, that was a big one. And then another part of the vulnerability question was, She would ask me.
Okay, so I saw two therapists. I saw one therapist who specialize in professional women going through a divorce,
Gordon: and
Kasey Compton: she described her style is very eclectic, and I could tell that she used. You know, some IFS and some attachment theory and you know, she really was eclectic in that way. And I realized in my sessions with her that I really lacked the, I don't even know, the language to describe my own emotions.
And so the thing that I really did not want to do in my therapy sessions was talk about feelings. And And I remembered someone saying one time, what if what's in the way? Is the way. And so then I sought out a therapist that was an emotion focused therapist. I sought out the one therapist that would make me the most uncomfortable I could possibly be.
Gordon: Wow.
Kasey Compton: And I started seeing that therapist every week. And when he would ask me, you know, how does this make you feel? One of the only words I could really use were fine, good. You know, so I had to expand that whole vocabulary, and that was a very vulnerable process for me, like getting to someone. This makes me feel incompetent, or this makes me feel like I'm self conscious or, you know, all these feelings that I've obviously had for years, but didn't really express them.
It was, it was it was obvious going that, that vulnerability was something that I needed to do more of.
Gordon: Right. Right. Yeah. So in your process with that, what, what were kind of the turning points or maybe the aha moments that helped you tap into that?
Kasey Compton: Well, a couple of things. First was, I have never been a good time tracker.
If you ask me, like, when did such and such happen? I don't know. It's, I'm just, I don't know why. I'm sure there's some reason. But tracking time has just never been a strength. I just can't, I don't do it very well. So one of the, one of the things was forcing myself to draw out my life on paper, starting with the big things like big events that happened, births, death, marriages, divorce, you know, anything that came to mind, I had to, I had to draw those out and then I started.
Thinking about those big things as like fence posts. And how those are like the first thing I think about when someone asks me a question about my life or whatever, I think about those big things. But then I started looking at them and noticing a pattern almost, like there would be a traumatic event and then there would be something bad that happened after it.
Like a Decision that I made or something that was impulsive or whatever and then that would cause a fallout And so almost my whole life as I looked at it down on paper, it was like big thing Trauma, whether it's a big tear little t didn't matter big thing really stupid decision, bunch of changes because of a fallout.
And so after I drew out those fence posts, I started thinking, okay, let me think of some things, some little things that happened in between these fence posts. So then I started thinking about random things that you read about in the book and putting those on that timeline. And then I started to see, oh, there's a pattern here.
Every time something traumatic happened to me, I did not process it. I avoided it. And then two bad things would happen. And I started to just understand my own actions a little bit more
Gordon: and
Kasey Compton: was able to gain a lot of insight there. The second thing that was a big turning point for me was Because I've always been so outcome driven, you know, we talk about goals in our practice all the time where every department has a goal, every system has a goal, you know, we're always looking at numbers.
One of my, my therapist, she actually pointed out to me, she pointed that out to me and she were talking about a situation where I was contemplating giving my ex's mom. Some school pictures of the kids, but I was sharing with her. I don't know how she'll receive that. I don't know once she doesn't like me to, you know, she could get them herself if she wanted to.
So if I give them to her, would that make her feel bad? Like, you know, I was just thinking, like, how is she going to react if I do this? And my therapist said, do you always do this? Try to control the outcome and I was like, oh Maybe because I do you have to do it in your business But I was doing it in my personal life And so one of the things she suggested was how about you try to detach from the outcome like you do what you need to do You do what you feel is right.
And then however, she perceives it is however, she perceives it And that was huge for me Because I realized that like me worrying about how other people would respond to things. Was causing me not to do things that I wanted to do. And so that was huge. Those are two, but really impactful for me.
Gordon: Yeah, that, that, that really resonates.
I think I think for a lot of us in this profession, we, we, we can tend to be. overly focused on people pleasing.
Kasey Compton: Right. And getting,
Gordon: getting our validation that way, rather than internally. And I know that's something I've been kind of working through in my own therapy. Yeah. And like you said earlier, I think absolutely you said something that I just want to echo.
If you're not in therapy yourself and you're a therapist, you really, you're missing out on, on something that can really be life changing and validating. Right around. So, yeah. So what it tell us more about the book and just kind of how it's laid out and and that sort of thing.
Kasey Compton: Well, so the developmental editor that helped me, so a developmental editor for listeners that might not know, there's, there's at least three editors in your publishing process.
The developmental one is the first one, and they are helping you kind of lay out the bones. Of the book. So they're helping you get really clear on your core message and who your reader is and make sure that you have teaching points and you have, you know, all the things that back up the teaching points.
So all of the nuts and bolts of the structures and Developmental editor you read fix this next. So you kind of saw how I mixed the business with the story and the personal. So in this book, I wanted to lean into that even more. And I would say 90 percent of this book is story. But as we were going through the developmental editing process, AJ Harper, she was, she said, Casey, because this was really frustrating to write.
Like just aside from writing about like really deep personal things that happened just the the structure and the Logistics of it was torture because she says Casey. This is well one. I've never seen this before And I thought oh like this woman has literally Ghost written like hundreds of books and she's edited more than that and she's never seen this before.
So that's not good She said people are either going to really love it or They're not and she said the reason that they wouldn't love it is because of how the structure Basically, I'm playing with time in the book and there's a lot of back and forth and she thought that there was a chance I could confuse the reader But the way the book is basically structured is it starts in the first person present tense.
It starts right in the middle of my book launch for Fix This Next. I'm telling that story. And in that book launch, I have this epiphany, which then sets all of the other parts of the book in motion. So we start in first person present tense. Then I pull myself out of that. And then the book is written basically as I'm going to therapy.
So these sessions with my therapist are all documented throughout the course of two years. But in those therapy sessions, there are memories that are coming back to me that I had repressed. Those memories become these little stories. And it's sort of like, you see it a lot in movies, TV shows where you have the main characters, you know, kind of going through life, but they're flashing back to the past.
So it's written like that. And that way I can capture the essence of my relationship with my grandmother, my grandfather, my dad, my mom, and how those have really shown up and carried over into my life now. So it's a, It's a unique type of structure. There's a lot of stories, a lot of short little stories.
I personally, and everyone has said so far, it's really easy to read. I read it yesterday. I spent like an hour and a half. I made it halfway through. It's not overly clinical, but it's also written from a perspective that a therapist could say to their client, Hey I think this book could help you.
And so that therapists can recommend it to their clients so that they can Nervous. A little bit more as they're going through the process.
Gordon: Oh, that's great. That's great. I can't wait for it to be out. So it, it'll be out. What's the date again? And March 12th, March 12th. Okay. So it, it might be that you're, if you're listening to this episode, it might be the books already out.
So even Better you can jump on it. But yeah, so I'm excited for this. And is it and I'm assuming people can get it wherever they get their books and that sort of thing. So that'll be good. And we'll have links here in the show notes to get people to it quickly. But you know, the other thing I want you to talk about Casey is this wonderful conference that's coming up in May and I will be there.
I went last year and it was so much fun and such such a great event. Meet you in Kentucky. So say some more about it. This what's happening this year.
Kasey Compton: Oh, this year is going to be fun. So this year we're kind of taking the momentum that we already have going from this massive book launch that we're doing.
And we're just carrying it right on into meet you in Kentucky. We're going with a different theme this year. We're, we're doing some like retro vibes. The colors for the conference are all neon. It's like, we're all going back to the eighties. It's going to be a blast. We're taking you all to do some fun stuff, but what we, what is different this year is that we have developed the conference and the tracks specifically for practices and.
And group practices that want to have more of a team oriented approach to running the practice. And here's why, because so many, there are so many opportunities for practice owners to go to conferences, go to retreats, you know, do all these things and learn, but then you have the responsibility to bring that information back as the owner and then teach everybody on your team and you've just learned it.
So we want people to bring their teams with them, let them branch off into different tracks. So we have one that's focused on client care and intake and marketing. So anyone that has marketing person, a client care person, receptionist, anyone like that, we have workshops specifically for them. And then we have the CEO owner tracks, and then we have we have some admin tracks as well, but we want everyone to come and.
First of all, use it as a learning opportunity to strengthen and grow together, but to just to develop that team and use it as a team building experience as well.
Gordon: Awesome. Awesome. And it's going to be at the Omni in Louisville again, and it was a wonderful venue and. If you've never been to Louisville, Kentucky, it's, it is such a fun city to be in lots of stuff to see.
And it speaks to my heart as a bourbon drinker. So it's yeah. So it's just a lot of fun. Yeah.
Kasey Compton: Listen, you need to come to our VIP. I will talk to Emily. You talk to Emily. I'm going to set it up. You're coming to our VIP experience because we are taking you on a trip. We have the coolest stuff planned this year.
So I'm going to tell her that you're coming to that.
Gordon: Okay It's on
Kasey Compton: me. Okay, so you're
Gordon: On
Kasey Compton: Casey, but you are going if you love Louisville before you're going to love it after this event boy.
Gordon: Oh boy. I can't wait I can't wait. Yeah. So, oh, so much fun. So much fun. So we'll have links in the show notes and the show summary for you to get to all of these things.
Casey, what parting thoughts do you have?
Kasey Compton: Oh, so many. I guess I will speak to practice owners that are obviously business owners as well, just to remind you that you can run a practice and run a business while still being able to tap into joy and finding fulfillment. It is possible to have both.
The only thing you have to have is self love and self awareness.
Gordon: That's great. Yeah. And Casey, I'm so glad to we're friends and we'll, you'll be hearing more from Casey Compton folks. So check her out. Thanks Casey.
Kasey Compton: Thank you.