The Practice of Therapy

Gordon: Well, hello everyone and welcome again to the podcast and I'm really excited for you to get to know Connor McClanahan and Connor and I got to spend a retreat together back in the fall and really got to know Connor on a, you know, much more personal level, but you're really going to enjoy him. Welcome Connor.
Connor McClenahan: Hey, Gordon. Hey, good to see you.
Gordon: Yes. And so Connor is a start with everyone. Tell everyone a little bit more about yourself and how you've landed, where you've landed.
Connor McClenahan: Been licensed for about eight years now and, and You know, I was initially part of a group practice.
And as I have kind of a bit more of an entrepreneurial mind, that's always kind of trying to plug away at what I can do and the different pieces I can move around. I, I decided to build my own private practice that is a membership model. So instead of licensed clinicians paying a percentage, Of their fees, they play a flat rate, just like you would for subletting in order to be a part of the group.
And I think that's a wonderful solution because a lot of therapists don't want to have to choose between you know, being financially successful and also being socially connected to a larger group, you know, a lot of. Therapists have to make that choice. And so it's a meaningful community that we can kind of share common resources like a webpage and, and office space consultation group.
All the things that you get part of a group, but for a flat rate that helps therapists to do well financially. So that's what I started doing. I, I kind of got to where I am because I I always have loved things like graphic design and video editing, all these like kind of kind of Strategic kind of tinkering kind of activities that that I found becoming animated as I, as I started to grow my practice of, you know, using video editing and using website building to try to help me think strategically about how to grow a practice.
Gordon: Yes, yes. And then I know one of the things that you've really been focused in on is really just the whole marketing piece in terms of just kind of take helping people take the angst out of it. And I know is you know, one of the things that I know you have I got to see in person was the book that you put together, but why don't you walk us through just kind of your.
Sure. For lack of a better term, your method or your way of thinking about things and yeah, what you've come up with, you know?
Connor McClenahan: Yeah, sure. Well, maybe a good way to to go through that as a story that I remember. It's vivid for me of you know, I I used to do videos for therapists and we would do a lot of coaching for a person So let's say we go out to the location.
It's in a beautiful setting We get the lights set up and I remember this for this one person We had the camera set up on them and as we're setting up the equipment I was talking to the person about Who they're talking to, who are you going to be speaking to today in this video? And they just lit up.
They're like, Oh, you know this, I just picture this anxious teen who, you know, they just really need help. They feel so misunderstood. They were just connecting so much in this rich way. And I can picture them almost like a, like an aunt or like a, an older sister kind of sense of, they felt so empathetically connected with the client that they were talking about that they were visualizing.
And then I go to hit record. I was like, perfect. I was like, hold that thought right there. Perfect. Action. Let's start recording. And they froze up and they kind of looked down and they got kind of nervous, you know, and they're like, hi, I help people with blah, blah, blah. And they talk from the, such a mechanical place.
And I was like, what happened there in that difference right there is I think the crossroads that we can all experience whenever we go to market or practice
Gordon: is
Connor McClenahan: that we have this anxiety that comes up. That's about our own insecurity, about building our practice, about being seen, about being needy and meeting clients or needing money that just inflame us and take us away from this beautiful, empathetic place that I think we all hold within ourselves that makes us a great clinician.
And It feels so important that shift that she made there where she ended up kind of putting it down and I ended up starting to think about how do I help her stay there in that moment? How do I help her day in that empathetic moment and hold on to that and use it metabolize it because that's going to make all the difference in how she appears in the video in terms of what words she says in terms of how she approaches it.
So that's formed, I think, the basic strategy for how I like to think about our marketing efforts is how do we, how do we start by becoming aware of the way our anxiety about building our caseload is actually shooting ourselves in the foot so that we can pivot back towards an empathetic, giving, generous part of ourselves.
That is so much more powerful and strong. And I think there's a way to build all of our content, whether it's blogs, video or copywriting or social media posts around that strategy of visualization of our client so that we can connect with them in a really powerful way.
Gordon: Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's funny.
I w I was having a conversation along these lines with earlier today and master my group. I mean, and one, one of the things that I think For us as therapists that we have a hard time doing is promoting ourselves in a way because in a way it Sometimes feels like we're bragging or we're doing that but it but it really is helpful I think to think about it in with our with our Advertising with our marketing to think about it in terms of how we normally connect with people like just like we do in a session Yeah And just being able to translate that, you know,
Connor McClenahan: right, like an extension of our clinical self.
And I think the reason we're able to do that with a client is because we're able to literally picture them in front of us, whether we're in person or virtually, we're seeing their emotion. We have experience with them. There's a depth of understanding that, that is brought forth by the client's presence.
But when we're doing something like. Filming a video or we stare at a blank page trying to write a blog, you know, we, we don't have that strong visualization in front of us of this person's actual pain. And so the pain that we're thinking about isn't the client's pain. It's our own, it's our own need for clients.
It's our own desperation. Right. It's our own anxiety about what we need. And that, that can be a really tough place to get out of right there. And I think I can, I can kind of feel it in myself. I feel myself sometimes when I go to write something, I can feel myself juggling back and forth between these two postures inside of my own sense of, okay, I need to build my practice.
I got to do something to help my other clinicians or to help myself. And, but then this other part of me that goes, wait a second, Connor, like slow down. Like, who are you trying to help and how can you actually be coming right onto their page with where they're feeling, what they're afraid of, what they're worried about.
And so I think there's a couple ways that we can do this in a really strong way that I talk about a lot in the workbook in terms of helping you diagram this or understand this for yourself in your own situation. But two pieces, one is your own sense of purpose as a clinician. How do you understand Why you're doing what you're doing.
I feel like that is one Handhold that we can hold on to to keep ourselves from falling into our own self anxiety, right? Is that I have to have a really strong sense of my purpose what I'm doing and why I'm doing it Who am I really? Who am I really intent upon working with and why, why am I doing this with my life or with my time?
I feel like that's a great handhold to hold on to. The other handhold to hold on to is a visualization of the client's pain. How strong in visual can I make this image of the client that I'm seeing? A lot of times when we think about You know, seeing a client or, Oh, who's the niche that you're trying to reach out to?
And someone might respond by going, Oh, I think for me, it's young mothers. Who have postpartum issues or something like that, you know, let's say it's, and we think of a demographic category emotionally, that's not strong enough to help us actually form our words towards that person. We need a visualization of who that person is.
And what I usually like to do is start by going, let's start with your favorite client. You know, like, so take a client that you love and that you love doing great work with every week. And you might have a client that initially flashes into your mind and, and to think, I'm going to write all of my copy, all of my blogs, all of my social media posts.
I'm going to write for that one client that I see every week. I'm not going to think about what demographic category they're in. I'm not going to worry about that. I'm going to literally write it for John Doe, whatever his name is. Right. And, and so that memory or experience that you have with that client is going to be forming every word that you say throughout your entire marketing strategy.
Gordon: Yeah. Yeah. I think that's yeah, I think it's you know, what, what resonates for me is what you said earlier is really having a clear understanding of your purpose and your why of what you're doing. And then that, then that, I think the rest of it. Can kind of fall in place with, with all of that.
Connor McClenahan: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's something I think I remember taking a marketing class in in grad school and and him doing a lot of work with us on that with with our marketing and going, let's start by picturing you know, where you want to be in your life. Who do you want to work with?
What do you want your practice to be like? And it's so funny to be like, oh, this is a marketing class, but we're actually talking a lot about. Purpose about who I am, why, why I'm doing what I'm doing. And I just think that is so powerful to hold that in our minds. And I wonder if, if if it's just like that, we don't give ourselves enough, enough space to actually consider, you know, the depth of the reason why we're doing what we're doing.
I think it's always interesting. The fact that. Usually the favorite client that we pick are the ones that we really focus on or do the best work on have most to do with our own pain, you know, our own things that we've had go wrong in our lives or the help that we've needed in our lives. And we find that in somebody else in our clients and we find beautiful ways of helping them through the same.
Kinds of issues. And I think that's so worth reflecting on about why we're doing what we're doing. A couple of exercises I help people, and I would actually be curious for you, Gordon, to know, cause I'm sure you do a lot of this work around purpose in terms of
Gordon: what is
Connor McClenahan: the pathway towards which you help people find their purpose in what they're doing, but three different.
Questions or images that I like to hold for people with purpose is the first one is your past. What, what is a moment in the past in which you felt most alive and purposeful and like your, your own self, you felt proud of yourself. What is a moment in your past when you felt most alive like that?
And then to think about your present of what times. During your week, do you feel most alive, proud, good, powerful, you know, and then to think about in the future of going at the end of your life, what do you hope you'll be able to feel about yourself? What do you hope people will be able to say about you?
You know but I kind of like thinking things as a way of trying to, you know elaborate who we are and as a full clinician that has a purposeful work to do in our lives,
Gordon: right? Right. Yeah. That's a, yeah, I totally agree with that. I think if you don't, if you don't have a handle on those things, it's going to be really hard for you to communicate to people that might want to, you know, there's no, I don't think there's any lack of clients for us out there.
I think the problem is, is that we, is helping people find us and connecting with us is really the, to me, it's the whole purpose of marketing. It's just letting people know how you can help them.
Connor McClenahan: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, so I think something that, that maybe we could kind of talk a little bit about there is, is copywriting itself and how that's how, how we can approach that in some common pitfalls that I think we can run into with copy.
Something that, that I always cringe at doing is just pulling up my own psychology today profile because it's from time to time I'll do that and I'll be like, what was I thinking that this word is so wooden or weird, but it's funny how we can even just look back over our own words and. And often you know, have a lot of work to do in, in examining what are the words that I'm actually putting out there.
So first of all, I think copywriting is really important in the sense that the way that a client comes to see you, right, is that first they have some kind of burning sense of a problem. And they're going to do a Google search, right? They might stumble upon your website, and the first thing they're going to look at is your picture, to see if you're a person who's going to be relatable.
But the second thing they're going to be doing is they're going to be looking through your copy, and they're not looking at who you are, right? That's our anxiety. And so sometimes from an anxious place, we can try to make ourselves feel valuable to them right by talking about our education or years of experience, or I create a warm and inviting atmosphere at these kind of things.
But these are all kind of out of that self anxiety, right? But a client as they're coming in, they're looking for. How is this person going to solve my problem? You know, how is this person? Can they understand my pain? Do they know what it's like for me on a daily basis? And can they be useful to me? Are they going to be able to help me get to a better place?
It's very little about therapy and more about, How does this person solve my anxiety here? So in our copywriting, it needs to be really clear about being specific about the kinds of problems that we solve and being solution oriented about where we can actually get them with, with our services.
So two pitfalls that we can do in terms of. Of two pitfalls that we can hold when we do copywriting two of them. The first one is writing with other therapists, looking over your shoulder. For me, sometimes I'll hold like past supervisors in my mind when I write my copy, you know, where I'll, I'll picture like my supervisor and what he might say about, The kinds of ways that I'm talking about anxiety or the language that I'm using, or tell me that I don't really know what I'm talking about with psychoanalytic thought or something like this.
So that's one, right, is we can probably identify what are the voices that we're holding inside when when we're, when we're writing, writing copy, and that might be other therapists, you know the second one is writing because of a low caseload is going You know, that we can get into a pitfall of going, I really need to be seen as valuable by this person, and so I need to I need to make sure that they know that I'm valuable.
And so I think those are two pitfalls that we can, that we can get into when we, when we write copy.
Gordon: Yeah. Yeah. I think it's yeah. The, the thing that comes to mind for me, as you were saying, all of that is being able to convey to the potential client the transformation that they would go through.
And how you would help with that. Yeah.
Connor McClenahan: Yeah. Yeah. Transformation. Yeah, I've heard that said a lot where you go. I take people from X to Y, you know, like I take people from being overwhelmed and anxious to feeling confident and self assured, you know yeah. I think it's actually a tip that I've heard from Laura Long as I think which is really brilliant is to be almost like a script writer to be really behavioral about the changes that you see.
So for example, one tip that you can use is go instead of saying feeling words, which is what we tend towards as therapists like what I want to help you feel this way. What would it look like if you were to do something external, like saying you will be able to, for example, it's like, for example, the difference would be, you'll be able to feel confident, right?
Another way to transform that is to say, you'll be able to speak your mind with your spouse, right? That sounds a little bit more, more powerful when we can actually put a behavior to that, that action or that feeling. Right. Can be a helpful way to get there. Yeah.
Gordon: Yeah. And I think that That goes back to, to something you said earlier about really knowing what is your ideal client and what, you know, what, what is your niche that you, you want to reach out to and being able to understand that.
Connor McClenahan: Yeah. So the, I think that's the, that's actually the first section is, is starting. So let's say we can break down our copywriting on our. Profile page into three different sections. And by the way, we have this chapter available for free on my, on my website. You get, if you want to download it, you can actually look along with these exact prompts that I'm going through.
Gordon: And
Connor McClenahan: it's for free. You just have to give your email address. But the first one is being able to talk about the desire and obstacle. So what is your client most want? This is where we come back to the visualization experience. When I picture my favorite client that's sitting in front of me here, How would I talk about what they most want in their life?
Where are they going? Where do they want to get to, you know, and then what is most getting in their way, what's keeping them from getting to where they want to be. So for me, I, I, I work a lot with anxious lawyers. And so for me, a lot of times it's that they really want to feel less chaotic. They want to feel like they can manage things without worrying about it.
You know, they've got. Some kind of empowerment that they feel inside, you know, and so the first thing I might do is go like you're saying of, of this transformation thing of going, how do I become behavioral about that? What are the things, what are the behaviors that this person is going to be able to do if they actually are achieving the life that they want?
And then what is the obstacle that's going to get in the way of them? For example, if they want to feel empowered, then what is it that they do experience? What's the thing that's keeping them from doing that? For example, we might point to You know, you know, but you feel like your, your chest is pounding.
You can't slow it down. You feel distracted. You feel like you can't focus, you know? And so it's costing you so much. You can't get to this place where you feel empowered, you know, where you're able to get things done. You are just anxious. You're. Chess is pounding all these kind of things. So that's kind of the first paragraph is that we really want to help them think what is that I understand what your main desire is in life.
And I also understand what is most getting in the way and frustrating you with that.
Gordon: Yeah.
Connor McClenahan: The second section we can talk about is I can help. Here's the plan. So being able to go I've helped people. I've helped people just like you go from anxious and overwhelmed To confident and capable or something like this, right?
We, I, I say, you know, and that's, that's, I think something that, that you're, you're kind of familiar with as well having kind of like a really niche statement right there.
I think a really helpful thing to do after that is to say, here's the plan, you know, so this is what I do in therapy. Together, we're going to identify the obstacles that you face.
We're going to explore and help you learn new ways of coping with anxiety, right? So you kind of start to outline for them, what are the steps? What are the plan? What's the plan that you generally take with clients who experience the same pain point? And at the end, you want to end with some kind of hope and invitation, you know, something like I can help you get there, or you can get to this place.
It's going to feel so relieving for you to be able to feel confident again, for you to be able to sleep through the night, whatever it is that your, your client is wanting to be able to do, and then invite them, you know, so please, you know, give me a call, you know, we'll, we'll work on this together. We'll have a, have an initial consultation.
Gordon: Yeah. Yeah. So it's a, again, it's getting real, Getting really clear about who your ideal client is and what's going to speak to them the most About working with you. Yeah.
Connor McClenahan: Yeah.
Gordon: Yeah, that's great. That's great Well Connor tell folks about your book that you've put together around all of this and again Like I said at the beginning I had the chance to take a peek at it.
It's a very beautiful book
Connor McClenahan: Thank you. Thank you. You know it's, it's, it's a nice cohesive picture. So I think a lot of times what we can do is when we go to market, we sometimes can feel scattered and go, okay, I've got an hour free. I need to get this going. I'll just do a social media post or what are other people doing on tick?
Are they on Tik TOK, you know, Instagram, and we can kind of get into this reactive place. But I think what this book is going to help you do is slow down and back up And create a very. Engaging strategic approach to how you're going to approach everything in your marketing. It helps you kind of start at square one and think strategically about how you're going to direct your effort.
That you can be economical with it so that it all flows together and makes sense. So I think by the end reading the book and going through this workbook, you'll have a strategy that is custom to the kind of client that you want to see that helps you kind of flow in that direction. So we talk about all kinds of things.
We talk about getting you a really strong client visualization that fuels your marketing. But we also talk about things like how to lay out your website how to do a blog. Post. And I, I actually give like some different structures for how to create a blog or a social media post.
Gordon: We
Connor McClenahan: talk about when and why to do advertisements.
And we talked about video editing, how to make a good video with good lighting. I really lay it out in some detail with, with these kinds of nuts and bolts. But I think the most important thing is helping you think strategically about how to put effort towards your marketing in a way that doesn't exhaust you.
That doesn't leave you feeling like you didn't do everything or that you don't know what you're doing. But that really leaves you with a sense of purpose and clarity around the things that you're putting effort toward. So it's like 108 pages. It's a pretty extensive workbook. But you can download the first chapter for free and, and and get a sense of whether this is a good fit for you.
Gordon: Yeah, yeah. And yeah, we'll have links here in the show notes and show summary for people to get to that easily. Well, Connor, I'm so glad we got to spend this time together. I've got to be respectful of your time. What, what sort of parting thoughts do you have about, you know, about all of this?
Connor McClenahan: I just think that if you're listening right now, I want you to know how much strength you have inside of you, that so much of your clinical expertise and knowledge that fuels who you are in your business is like waiting for you to use for your marketing efforts.
That'll grow your business. And you just have so much strength inside of you with your empathy that is, that is worth investing in for yourself.
Gordon: Awesome. Awesome. Now tell folks the website and how to get in touch with you.
Connor McClenahan: Yeah, sure. Yeah. It's here. Counseling. com H E R E counseling. com slash workbook is the workbook that you can find.
And we're based in the Los Angeles where a small group and and yeah, if you want to reach out at all feel free to reach out to me.
Gordon: Yes, well, Connor is great to reconnect and I'm hoping we'll get together again in person here before too long.