The Practice of Therapy

Gordon Brewer: Well, hello everyone. And welcome again to the podcast. And I'm real excited for you to get to know today, Deborah Richelieu. Welcome, Deborah.
Deborah Richelieu: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me, Gordon.
Gordon Brewer: Yes. And I got, I got the pleasure of meeting. She reminded me, we met in person back in October at the WISE Practice Summit in Charlotte.
And Deborah was good enough to come to the session that I did. We're going to talk a little bit about some of that today. But Deborah, as I start with everyone, why don't you tell folks a little bit more about yourself and how you've landed where you've landed?
Deborah Richelieu: Yeah. So a little bit about my story. My parents are from Haiti.
My parents moved here in the late eighties and South Florida has always been home since then. I speak English and Haitian Creole. So I do bring that into sessions for my clients who they are bilingual and, uh, they feel more comfortable speaking, um, Haitian Creole. So, uh, I do bring that into session also.
My background, I am. The youngest of two siblings. My dad was a construction worker. My mom, a nurse assistant. And as I was going through undergrad and I Stumbled on psychology, and I found it really, really interesting. I didn't think I would be quite the nurse that my mom probably always wanted me to be, but this was a different way to get into healthcare and the relationship.
I really value relationships. I come from a big family, and I grew up with my cousins. These are, you know, essentially my cousins, my brother. These are my first experience with relationships. And my husband, my husband and I, we went through premarital counseling as very young, 22, 23 year olds, madly in love with one another, but really not equipped to have healthy communication as, as young married couples in their twenties.
So after completing my psychology degree, I knew I wanted. To become a counselor or a therapist. Like I said, relationships mean a lot to me. And when I found the marriage and family therapy program at Nola Southeast university here in Davie, Florida, I was like, this is for me. And when I had my first couple, I started working with my first couple in 2018 and I will never forget it.
And they were married for 20 years and there was a lot of conflict to work through, but. I felt a lot working with them. And so I knew I was like, this is solidifying. I love working with couples and really helping them establish an emotional bond. And I forgot to mention this. I launched my solo private practice back in November, 2024.
So just a few months, I have my own private practice and I specialize in working with couples.
Gordon Brewer: Well, congratulations on that. You know, it's a, as you, as you were telling about that, Deborah, I was reminded I'm also an LMFT and went through kind of a marriage, marriage and family track when I was in graduate school as well.
And, you know, I remember that. Um, a lot of people, well, I guess it depends on what part of the country you're from, but I know here in the Southeast, there's just not a lot of marriage and family therapists. You get on the West Coast, there's more folks doing that, but I know in just working with interns and doing supervision with folks, a lot of people are really intimidated by doing marriage work or working with couples.
What, what drew you in, do you think? Instead of being shy, instead of shying away, Oh, I don't want to get in the middle of that conflict kind of thing. I think it's how people think.
Deborah Richelieu: You know, I, that's a good one, right? Coming from a big family, you're going to have a lot of love, but naturally a lot of conflicts.
And I, like most people always had a very negative connotation of conflicts, but I remember reading this from Dr. John Gottman's book, Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Conflicts. On the contrary, it can be a bridge for connection. And when I started understanding that, and when I started realizing, yeah, there's a lot of healing and restoration that can happen if we lean into the conflict and what's happening underneath the surface.
And that's when I fell in love with working with two individuals. And you're absolutely right. Most of our colleagues, um, who have been only trained in individual therapy, it is pretty intimidating to have two people duke it out in front of you.
Gordon Brewer: Yeah, yeah, it is. But I think, I think like, like you're kind of alluding to is, is that if you have some good training, I mean, and the Gottman's are, you know, and Sue Johnson and now, and any of the, any of the emotionally focused Couples therapy kind of models are really kind of the gold standard, I think.
But I think if you get that training and you start to learn about it, you can really, it really is exciting stuff to be able to work with couples and help them learn how to change the process of how they interact and all of that sort of thing.
Deborah Richelieu: Yeah, yeah, I think it's, it's what you said. I fell in love with the process, you know, coming in and being a couple, barely be able to get through the session without, you know, really going so deep into their conflict.
And after a few sessions, you start to see the transformation, you start to see Yeah. Yeah. You start to see, take responsibility for what they did. You start to see someone, you know, no longer stonewall and shut down, but start to open up, man, that there's nothing like it.
Gordon Brewer: The right, right. I love that. I love that.
So, you know, another thing that we were talking about before we started recording, well, first of all, before I. Before we talk about that, one of the things I do want to say, Deborah, is I think you are very smart to specialize in couples therapy based on where you are, because I'm bet that you stand out as someone unique because there's not that many in, like we said before, in the Southeast.
Deborah Richelieu: It's true. Yes, I will say before I launched my private practice for 4 years now, I've been a part of a group practice and I will say I have received so many referrals from a lot of my colleagues who they're seeing individuals in therapy and. You know, their, their clients are having a really hard time in their relationships.
So I get a lot of referrals actually from my fellow therapist friends.
Gordon Brewer: Right, right. Yeah. And so I think, you know, doing couples therapy as a niche I think is so, so, so important. And also I think the fact with your, the fact that you have your Haitian background and a person of color, all of that just adds to A lot of success.
I would think.
Deborah Richelieu: Yes, absolutely. A majority of my clients are either of Caribbean descent. So Haitian American, Jamaican, African American. So a lot in my, my clients tell me that in the first session, Hey, I've been looking for a woman of color and someone who also connects with my faith because I also provide Christian counseling, counseling as well.
Gordon Brewer: Right. Right. Well, that's great. It's such a much, it's a much needed niche for, for a lot of reasons. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. So I know one of the shift gears a little bit. I know one of the things that, that we kind of connected on is the fact that we both experienced some losses and being able to continue to work and do our job and maintain a practice and that sort of thing.
Could you, could you, do you mind sharing a little bit of your story around that?
Deborah Richelieu: Sure. You know, one thing that drew me to Gordon's session at the WISE Practice Summit was he was talking about grief, how, how to take care of yourself and take care of your clients as a grieving therapist. And before we started, I shared with him, I really connected with that session because not even a year ago, we lost my mother in law and that was a devastating loss, unexpected for our family.
And I, I didn't work after that. I didn't work the first week and a half, I believe. And I really was. In the immediate part of my grief, I really didn't know how I was going to continue doing good work with my clients when I was experiencing fresh grief, right? That was, that was a really confusing. Time for me to process, well, how do I show up for others and hold space for them when my whole world is falling apart?
So that's where we connected and you know, I'm really grateful to God for a really strong community We have a great church community who has come around us and supported us and loved us My husband has a therapist, I have a therapist, and it's just been a really beautiful time to see when your life crashes, comes crashing down, the people who surround you and love you and make sure you're taken care of, and that's really how we have been getting through this time, and it It lifts you up.
It gives you strength and you're able to say, okay, I can, I can do today. I can manage today. And that's really has been our journey, taking it one day at a time.
Gordon Brewer: Yeah. Yeah. What, what have you found helpful? That was, you know, I, I totally agree with you. I think it takes community and connections with, you know, family or faith communities.
Here. Just our, that's the only way that I made it through is with just my, through my church connections, but also just my close group of friends that I've had over the years. We kind of refer to ourselves as the Village . And So The Village, yes. Yeah. Yeah. So I love that. Yeah. And so we're, we're. You know, always doing things together as part of those people.
I was sharing with you. I went on that trip to Spain. Part of those people were part of the villages as we say, but in addition to the support that you got from others. What else did you find helpful for yourself and just kind of getting through your days and being able to maintain Your practice and being able to show up for others.
Deborah Richelieu: Yeah. Well, that's a great question Gordon I really I really appreciate the even the relationship I have with my colleagues and the group practice I was talking about. And, um, I just had a really honest conversation with my supervisor when I wasn't available and I couldn't see any grief clients. I just couldn't see anyone grieving.
I, I was able to manage. Still being able to work with clients who maybe they were processing anxiety or pre marital couples. Surprisingly, um, Gordon, I looked forward to seeing those clients. I even missed some of them, you know, on some time for bereavement. So I, I just managed to have that conversation with her and she was so supportive and thank God we have a whole group.
So she's like, not a problem. If you can't take this kind of a case. We can always, you know, give that to someone else. So that was helpful. And then personally going for, going for walks. That is something we did actually weekly with my mother in law. So we kept doing that. Me and my husband were dancers, funny enough.
So we kept dancing. We were like, okay, we got to keep dancing. You know, we have to do things that we enjoy, you know, we had our doors open to people to come and see us. You know, I learned about myself when I'm grieving. I want you to come over, you know, some people, they, they, they need time. No, come over, sit on my couch, bring food, laugh, let's watch movies.
And while that was not every day, but I definitely appreciated. Hosting and having people over that that just loved us and cared for us. And like you said, they're they're part of the village. And so sometimes they didn't even have to plan too far in advance. Hey, we're in the area. Yeah, sure. Come on over.
So that is really has been really helpful for us.
Gordon Brewer: Yeah, that's, that's, that's so good. One of the things that I found too, that was helpful with my, with my clients that I was working with, a bit of self disclosure about what I was going through and then also taking the time off from the time that my, my wife passed away, I just took off, she passed away towards the end of November.
So I took the whole month of December off and then just kind of eased back in. In January, it didn't take a big caseload, that kind of thing, which, you know, I think if you're in private practice is being able that I might have talked about this when we were talking about this at the summit, but I think it's always always.
Be proactive and think about, okay, what would happen if I couldn't work for a month or what would happen if, you know, or two months or three months. So depending on, you know, what type of practice you have, I think having those contingencies and really putting a lot of thought into that is, is really important.
I think,
Deborah Richelieu: yeah, I, I'm definitely grateful too for private practice because of the flexibility. Yes. Yeah. If I was in an agency, I wouldn't have that flexibility to be as present for my husband and just for us as a family. So I love. That, you know, and at the time when we needed it the most, we had that time.
Gordon Brewer: Yeah, yeah. So, as you started your practice, your private practice, what have you, obviously, what we've been talking about was a challenge, but what is it that you've learned that you feel like has been valuable to you?
Deborah Richelieu: I think what has been valuable is people People are open to getting help, but you're, you're not the first person they've been to.
Really humbling. And, and, you know, it's an eye opener to find out, well, what's been going on, because if I'm not the first therapist, well, what, what's not working here, you know, so I, I have found that as an eye opener, people are open to getting help, but, you know, they need the right help. Like we said earlier, they need someone who has the training to work with.
With their dynamic, you know, when they're in stress, they conflict after conflict, they've been trying to work through the infidelity issues. They really need someone who is skilled to help them with their problem, right?
Gordon Brewer: Right.
Deborah Richelieu: Yeah.
Gordon Brewer: And I think that's, yeah, I think that's what draws people in. It's, you know, I think if I've had the same experience where people have gone to other therapists.
And they've maybe gone to a therapist that wasn't necessarily specifically trained in doing couples therapy. And so they didn't really get the outcome they were hoping for. And the conflict was, was still there and they didn't know how to manage it. And so being able to, to really focus on, okay, how do you manage conflict?
You know, as, as, as you probably do the as well, Deborah, is that I tell, I tell clients kind of. Tongue in cheek. I could really care less about what you're arguing about. Let's look, let's look at what happens when you do argue.
Deborah Richelieu: Yes. When you
Gordon Brewer: do have conflict. And so focusing on that is really the big game changer, I think.
That's right. That's right. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So would tell tell folks how they might get in touch with you or find you?
Deborah Richelieu: Yeah, so you can find me on, of course, social media. I have a page dedicated to my private practice. That's the rich couch. But I also have a website for my private practice. That's the rich couch.com, the rich couch.com.
Kind of like. The couch that I have in the background. Awesome. That's how people can find me. Yeah. And I'm also on Psychology Today.
Gordon Brewer: Okay. Okay. Well, good. Well, Debra, I've got to be respectful of your time, and I'm so glad we had this conversation, and I hope that we'll be able to connect again here soon.